Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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