You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
