I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
