Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
