Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
