Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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