If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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