it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
