i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
