And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
