He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
