Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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