so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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