i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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