What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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