You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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