That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
