So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
