i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
