Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Come share oat with me in your robe
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
