I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
