The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
