Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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