worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
