You're so nebulous sometimes
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
