I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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