Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
