dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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