my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ugly people sure do ruin things
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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