just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Randomize
