Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
