My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
