We're facebook friends in real life
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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