You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
that's an acceptable place to lick
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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