To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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