i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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