I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
