No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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