so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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