I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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