Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
