So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
