Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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