Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
