I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
