her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
