I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
