I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
MIDGETS
????
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
