I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
