glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
