I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
